Oops I dun it again + Friendship!

Yes
Yes I've done it again,
I forgot to update on my blog.
FUCK!!

I mean yeah, its not a big deal, its just a blog, but man I made a commitment when I made this! Once a week! It aint too hard Jay!
SIGH.

Well, There truly isnt much to report on though.
I mean, yeah I get up, eat, take a shit, wash, draw, do something, play games, on workdays go to work for two hours and walk back, the same old same old!

Well, I made a new friend online? I guess that's the only exciting thing I can think of. She is incredible. Like, I've never held such fun daily conversations with anyone else before. Its so funny how you can be such good friends with people overseas than you be with your real friends that lives only 30 minutes away from you. Kinda sad really...

....
Oh man I made myself all sad and shit Dx
It's just so hard to find people that have the same interests as you, and I always find it easier to make conversations with people older than me. The new friend's married! And I feel like I'm closer to her than some of my other friends whom I've know for years. (Well except my Best Friend, code name Mojo jojo, She's been my bestie since forever :3)

Where was I going with this? oh yeah.
Friendship!
Let's talk about that shall we?
Friendship. It's such a fickle thing. One minute you'd do anything for them. Next minute you want to push them over a cliff. Some people say it's no big deal, it aint nothin, but hey now, you're not comprehending the true depths about the social minds we possess. Humans are social animals. we need social interactivity, That's a number one thing we need the most. And when we find that someone to talk to, we want to tell them everything. But who can we trust? For all we know, they're lying, manipulative back stabbers. or maybe they're genuine.
It's sort of like a leap of faith.

Another thing about friendship is, a true friend is there when you need them. I'm talking about the small stuff that sometimes we brush off as nothing. I discussed this situation with my ma, and at the end she was sailing like a sailor because she was pissed off  how ignorant a friend could be. Let me give you a full picture here;
A friend you have can give you the greatest birthday present you could have ever thought off. it's thought out, it has effort, and you're so moved, it really touches you. A few months later, you need a real small favor, it won't even take a minute. You ask your friends and how do they respond? with excuses. excuses in why they cant do it, over and over even though you persist. now think to yourself, is that a true friend? I really brushed it off because I find it less troublesome to see the negative in every little thing, but my ma was outraged when I told her about it 5 months later.

So what are your thoughts? In my opinion, they're still your friends, just not as close as you think. a close friend is someone like mojo jojo. Who gets your jokes and swear words and jumps in the band wagon, who runs her way to you even though you tell her you're leaving in ten minutes and she's more then 20 minutes away. A close friend is someone who still runs to meet you even though you can talk to her for less than 5 minutes, someone who immediately accepts your favor without question and eases your stress and tension. That's a close friend. That's a true friend. That's a best friend you can ever ask for. As amazing birthday presents can feel, it's the small things that really show. To be honest, I havent given her a present yet! I should really work on that haha.

Remember! better present aint nothin! Mojo jojo gave me a bag full of some stuff that I don't really care about, but I love her more hahaha! Good presents feel good for a snap shot moment in life. good friends, well, they're just forever there you know?

You know she's special if you guys constantly swear at each other and never feel offended :)

I realised how this blog post is just EVERYWHERE. It's so inconsistent HAHAHAHA

Jet fuels and big ugly inside out tears

I found it.

I finally fucking found it.

Now you may be wondering- oh gee what did this crazy lunatic that talks about periods find?

Let me tell ya

listen up

LISTEN UP

I
Found
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What I want to study!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen and many other different pronouns, I have finally come to a comcluded decision of what I want to study at university. I mean, about time! The whole point of this gap year was, other than shit scared and unprepared, was to find what I wanted to study for 2016. I was so conflicted and felt like absolute shit about my future, but after much research (eh, only 2 hrs or so. maybe more?), I have come to the most beautiful conclusion my heart could take.

I am going to study Digital Design with a minor in either Cinematic arts or Game and play design.

That is, if I get in.

So currently I'm planning out my portfolio buttt I'm still shit scared about the process. the alarming thoughts that are going through my head are;

"Do I have enough credits??"
"Do they still count my NCEA scores from last year since I'm a gap student?"
"Am I making the right choices?"
"Can jet fuel melt steel beams??"
"Poop?!?"

And thus concludes today's blog post diary thing wut

Oh and I watched Inside out,
What the Fuck Pixar.
Why do you always make me cry so blimmin much.
WASNT IT ENOUGH WHEN YOU TOOK MY CHILDHOOD TOYS AWAY AND MADE ANDY GROW UP?!!?!?! WASNT IT ENOUGH GODDAMMIT WHEN YOU MADE ELI DIE AND MAKE US WATCH THEIR HAPPY LIVES TOGETHER FOR 6 MINUTES JESUS WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
//SOBS AND WAILS LIKE A WHALE//

nothing interesting except MY LIFE BEING SUCKED DRY

I've committed myself to post one blog post a week, but unfortunately I could't uphold my promise, thus this is a bit later then the normal schedule.

why?

Because fire emblem awakening, that's why.
Ever since I got that blasted game on nintendo I've been playing it everyday. It's literally sucking the life out of me. My whole life revolves around a cartridge that has an equal weight to a pen, and smaller than my eraser.

I never saw myself as an RPG strategy gamer. I always saw them as boring and could never see myself playing any of them. Then in stormed fire emblem with its big black c**k, swinging it around like mad, breaking in to my room and shoving all that amazing plot and character down my throat.

*sigh*

I've only played 35 hours on it, but I hope it lasts forever.
Other then my complete obsession over a game, there's, once again, nothing exciting to record into a blog of a gap year student  who has great dreams and ambitions, but does nothing at all.

One 'exhilarating' thing I guess I did experience, although I would call it more like 'terrifying' was the inability to breathe. I'm not talking about hyperventilation or having my nose blocked. It was a sensation and experience that every time I took a breathe, even a shallow one, my heart and lungs felt like they were clenching up and suffocating me. It would be a sharp, awful pain in my heart, making me almost unable to breathe. With lots of disgusting crying, pain killers and a trip to the hospital, I'm fine and I'm taking inflammation tablets to help the muscles.

So yup.
EH